Author: Senka Holzer

“Reflecting on your emotional state changes how your heart works when you’re angry.”

“We experience emotions directly in our bodies. Remember strolling through the park to meet your sweetheart—you walk lightly with your heart pounding with excitement. Or remember anxiety tightening your muscles and making your hands sweat and tremble before an important job interview.”  These are the opening lines of a scientific paper from a group of Finnish researchers, who took a closer look at body sensation patterns that occur when we exhibit different emotions.

Looking at the body maps the researchers generated by studying 700 participants, you immediately notice the regions with increased activation (warm colors) or decreased activation (cool colors) when feeling each emotion. What I find really interesting is that almost every emotion (except for disgust, depression, and contempt) was associated with strong sensations in the upper chest area—the heart!

“This is wisdom as old as the hills”, you might think—and you are absolutely right. Somehow, long before the scientists could create fancy, colorful body maps of emotions, we intuitively knew this. There must be a reason that you “lose your heart” to someone who doesn’t love you, then you are “heartbroken”. If you decide to “pour your heart out” to a friend, her “heart bleeds for you”. Our language reveals how we feel, and it is clear we have felt for a long time that the heart is the center of a person’s emotions. 

All the love songs and emphasis on the heart actually makes sense. This is great, isn’t it?

Well, not always. Having your heart strongly responding to emotions can mean bad news—says another research study. According to their research, your heart can experience the same damage from hearing really bad news and letting your emotions take over as that of a 300-pound boxer punching you in the chest. And it seems that we intuitively knew this too. Expressions like “died from fright” and “worried to death” are not just hyperbole—they are physiologic possibilities. So our heart is the physical center of our emotions, but we can hurt it if we experience a load of negative emotions (brilliant idea mother nature?!)

Because life, or sh*t, happens, we can’t always avoid the unwanted sequence of events where something bad happens, we freak out, stress hormones overflood our bodies, and our heart must deal with it. Sometimes the pile of sh*t is just too big and we can’t really do much but be indulged in emotions completely, such as when we lose a loved one.

Even more worrying are the many situations that aren’t that dramatic, and yet we still let them profoundly trigger our hearts.

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Just remember your reaction when that idiot turned left and you had the-right-of-way. Or that terrible human being of a bus driver who didn’t wait for you, but saw you sprinting Forest Gump style for the last two blocks. Oh, and let’s not forget the lazy retail worker who was so rude and just couldn’t get the job done but made you come back another day. This kind of stress is happening often and its cumulative effect is quite dangerous for our hearts.

Is there anything we can do to protect our heart when we’re getting into a Godzilla mode about not-that-dramatic events? The answer is YES.

According to a study published in the open-access journal PLOS ONE, it’s not even that complicated or difficult to protect your heart. “Reflecting on your emotional state changes how your heart works when you’re angry”, said study author Karim Kassam, Ph.D., of the Department of Social and Decision Science at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, PA. “Being aware of your emotional response is a good thing. It positively affects you, whether you are aware of it [the positive effects] or not.” Kassam said. “As thoughts change, so too does physiology.”

I know a young lady who used to get really upset when her family or friends would lose things; all kinds of things, a notebook from biochemistry classes, keys, cellphones, plane tickets, or (God forbid) a wallet with personal documents. The loss of simple items would trigger an unbelievable transformation – remember what happens when mogwai eats after midnight? She reported later that she felt her heart rate soaring, her negative emotions heating up, and then very quickly something truly poisonous came out of her mouth (not helping the development of the situation in any way). After many years of self-reflection and coaching, this young lady finally understood the traumatic childhood experience that created this pattern.

When she was 10 years old, someone stole her wallet while she rode the train. Unfortunately, her ID was in the wallet and she needed it the next day for the most important tournament of the year—the national junior championship. In the midst of her despair, her coach sat her down in a room full of her teammates and told her that she didn’t deserve to compete at the championship because she was so irresponsible (for the record, she hadn’t missed a single practice since she started playing in the club and had never lost her important belongings before). He told her that she needed to be punished. She cried and cried and cried. And her coach told her that she should cry because it was entirely her fault that she would not compete tomorrow.

When she connected the dots and understood the real trigger, she was able to do what Dr. Kassam suggested. She was finally able to reflect on her feelings, virtually hug her 10-year old self, change her reaction to her friends and family, and most importantly, protect her heart. It makes me incredibly happy and proud when I see her reacting with awareness and controlling her previous impulses. And if you think this is an example from a client—ah well, you don’t have to know everything 😉.

One morning about two months ago, I woke up earlier than usual. Pleased to have some “extra” time, I poured a cup of strong black coffee (lately one of my favorite rituals) and sat down to read my new messages. This is what I found, verbatim:

“My working hours are unbearable. Also @home is so difficult – I feel completely burned out. Bleeding.”

“I need to take something to calm down. It’s been so difficult for me. You can’t imagine how horrible this day was.”

“It’s so hard. My feelings oscillate from one minute to another. Can we talk for a second?”

When I sense things are potentially going south for someone, I’m naturally driven to do what I can to restore their motivation. So I replied to all three; we texted, we talked. Each person felt they were facing the end of their world. Although it would have been easy to join in a long session of problem chewing, I resisted because I’ve found focusing on negatives to be of very limited value. Of course, there are times when truly bad things happen, and it’s useful to look closely at why. But in these three cases, from my more objective point of view, the problem seemed to be mainly one of perspective, of focusing narrowly on annoying details while forgetting that the overall picture was actually pretty good.

Now my attempts to persuade an upset person to consider another perspective are usually met with something like “That big picture crap doesn’t work.” I’ve always wanted to say “Really? Would the problem you’re facing right now look the same if you’d awakened this morning to find your toilet had backed up during the night and regurgitated sewage all over the master bedroom carpet? I’m fairly sure that would change your perspective.” But with each of my three texters, I took a gentle approach, and when I showed the messages to their authors two months later, you guessed it—they could scarcely remember what those end-of-the-world complaints were about. Clearly, their big pictures had remained intact.

I’ve found that one great way to zoom-out my perspective is to remind myself of things I already have in life, things I take for granted when I start whining about problems. I tell myself: “Before you decide that everything is terrible, check your pulse.” Because I’m a scientist, that pulse tells me a lot about how things are really going. I know that with every beat, 2 to 3 billion heart muscle cells are synchronizing as they are designed to do. About 70 times each minute—or an astonishing 100,000 times per day—the heart pumps blood through the body, delivering oxygen and nutrients, and carrying away waste. At about 70 milliliters per beat, that’s more than 10,000 liters per day—enough to fill a small tanker truck! And what’s even more amazing is the fact that unlike the other cells of the body, heart muscle cells don’t divide, renew, or replace themselves. They work nonstop, around the clock, for a lifetime.

So when you’re overwhelmed by the amount of work, problems, and pressure you’re required to handle, try remembering the marvel of your heart. Better yet, identify your own “instant zoom-out” thought that helps you refocus on the all the positives you can see clearly from broader perspective. I mean, how many problems have you already solved in your life? You’re going to be able to deal with this one, too.

P.S. Ironically, just as I finished writing this post, a computer error occurred and all my text disappeared—irreversibly. I stomped around, complaining about how unfair life is, until a friend said, “Wow, I’m sorry that happened. What was your post about?”
“Uh . . . hmm. How funny.”

Although it’s been years, I still remember my shocked first sight of an end-stage failing heart. On my way out of the operating room, I called a friend and blurted, ”It looked like a wet plastic bag, barely contracting! How could this possibly happen?”

Heart failure is a deadly condition in which the heart muscle is weakened and can’t meet body’s demand for oxygen. Although scientists can’t fully answer the question of how it happens, they are able to recognize several risk factors that make heart failure more likely. You are probably aware of them: smoking, overeating, consuming too much alcohol, and getting too little exercise—basically, the things your mom taught you are bad for your health.

These risky behaviors can injure the heart muscle and reduce its capacity to pump life-sustaining blood. Initially, the heart compensates for the injury in several ways. It beats faster and harder, and over time, it grows larger (see the diagram). These defensive responses create a window of time to correct the problem.

But if the person doesn’t change his or her unhealthy habits, the heart will continue to be injured and need to compensate more and more until finally, it fails. The saddest part of this scenario is that it’s preventable.

When I drew this diagram, I was struck by the parallels between heart function and personal relationships, how often we get stuck in cycles and ignore where they are taking us (see the figure). For example, how often have you heard someone complain that a partner works too much? The longer the working hours, the more complaining—and typically, the response to complaining is working more hours. Not realizing that they have created a cycle, partners compensate by mutual fault-finding. As they engage in a “blame ping-pong match,” they strengthen and reinforce each destructive element of the cycle. The injured relationship may continue, but as trust and intimacy erode, the relationship may fail completely.

It would be fabulous if a little alarm clock could warn us when we approach the last lap of the cycle. But why wait until the last lap? Whatever cycle you’re currently in, step off the track a moment to foresee where the cycle is headed. Where might you find an exit? Draw it on a piece of paper. Even if you sense that you are deeply entrenched in happiness-killing habits, try not to feel hopeless. Embrace the chance you have today to resolve problems. Ask yourself, What would I do differently today, if I knew I was entering the last lap before the relationship fails entirely?

Amazing things can happen when you deliberately break a negative cycle. You may not only improve some of the most important areas of your life, but also gain a whole new level of awareness of how much something means to you. You’ll become more grateful for what you already have. Finding yourself stuck in a cycle does not automatically mean disaster—just don’t delay breaking the cycle.
Tick tock. The time is now!

A few days ago I returned from the most amazing vacation I’ve ever had—eight days of hiking in Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks, without cell phones or Wi-Fi. Those quiet days of exploring the breathtaking Rocky Mountain backcountry left me in a state of awe and serenity, that is, until I parked our rental car in front of what was supposed to be the return location. The building was locked and vacant, there was no sign on the door, and the customer service hotline was no help. In fact, they knew nothing about the location. An image of me missing my flight because I couldn’t return the car flashed across my brain, and instantly I was boiling with anger. I could hear my pulse pounding in my ears.

Maybe you know the feeling? Do you also know the impact anger (or other strong negative emotions) can have on your heart?

Recently I read an interesting study in which researchers from Carnegie Mellon University, Pittsburgh and University of California, San Francisco measured the impact of two negative emotions on heart rate. They asked 112 volunteers to take “a challenging math test that is difficult for most people.” Sure enough, the task wasn’t easy – count backwards by thirteens, starting from 45,829. Just try it!

The experiment was designed to elicit anger and shame, and then measure the volunteers’ physical responses. If you were placed in the control group, in which no emotion was elicited, you completed the task alone in a room. If you were placed in either the anger or the shame variable group, a trained evaluator gave you negative feedback, informing you that you that “you performed poorly and your excessive movement interfered with measured signals.” Under the anger condition, the evaluators delivered the negative feedback in a way that made them sound annoyed and incompetent. Under the shame condition, the evaluators gave the same negative feedback, but in a warm, matter-of-fact tone.

Researchers measured heart function after the math test, and again after the negative feedback. They found that heart rates were significantly higher in the participants who were angry or ashamed. The anger group showed an average 16 beats-per-minute increase in heart rate, while the shame group showed a 10 beats-per-minute increase.Why do the research findings matter? Another study, recently published in a top journal of cardiac research, showed that for every beat-per-minute increase in resting heart rate, there is a 4-percent rise in risk of a heart failure incident.

Think about the implications. If such an unimportant thing as a negative feedback on your performance in a voluntary study can cause your heart to respond so strongly, what is the cumulative effect of the real day-to-day stress of traffic jams, rude costumers, parking tickets, and flight delays?

So next time you feel yourself getting upset, ask yourself if it’s worth stressing your heart over.

P.S. I owe my heart an apology! The rental car agency had postponed moving from their old office to the new location for few days. They sent an e-mail to let us know, but we were hiking across Yellowstone, offline. As it turned out, we returned the car to their old location and easily made our flight. 🙂

‘Lessons from the Heart’ is a blog miniseries about ​scientific findings that totally unexpectedly taught me important life lessons. They made me see things from – let’s say – a bit different perspective (and to be honest, occasionally laugh at myself). My hope is that when you read what’s going on in your heart (but in a fun and comprehensive way, I promise), it will have a similar effect on you. If you are anything like me, those facts will help you lighten up and feel good :)!

This series features the  following articles:

Lesson 1: Say NO to whining. There is always a better thought for you.
Lesson 2: The Time is Now
Lesson 3: Think twice before you get angry
Lesson 4: A Short Reflection on your Emotions = Half the Stress to Your Heart